"…when the initial video finishes, he clicks on the small icon" (S65)

…when the initial video finishes, he clicks on the small icon next to the individual’s name almost without thinking. The profile bio indicates that the account belongs to a 25-year-old student called Helen. She has been posting short vlogs and sit-down videos addressing questions and occasionally responding to comments. For a short moment, Jesse is annoyed. He opened the app hoping for mindless distraction. Maybe even some cute cat videos. Now, looking at the grid filled with videos talking about deep philosophical and theological questions about the meaning of life, he can’t help but feel slightly annoyed that his coping mechanism of drowning worries in a two-hour TikTok scrolling session has not worked. Staring at the ceiling, he decides that the questions are too interesting and too important to just scroll past.
He clicks on one of the most viewed videos, titled ‘Praying for beginners - what happens when you pray’ and finds - to his surprise- not a mob of angry commenters declaring the absurdity of the notion of a God in glaring capital letters or of Christians of different denominations fighting over small interpretative differences regarding matters not even mentioned in the video by citing single bible verses that have been taken out of context. No, there is a supportive community in which other users exchange stories about their personal experiences of prayer, providing book recommendations and asking and responding to questions by other users. And when there are different opinions, they are discussed respectfully, in a loving way. They welcome their ideas being challenged and let different ideas stand in tension. Jesse is pleasantly surprised. He hasn’t seen such a fruitful, non-confrontational discourse on this platform yet. Wondering how this is the case, he watches more videos. Helen’s vlogs do not mainly focus on deep spiritual questions, or at least she doesn’t explicitly mention them. However, her lifestyle seems authentic and her values shine through her actions and as an extension of her real life, her online content does so, too. In some of her vlogs, she records discussions with her friends, for example, when they eat together. While she does not always agree with them, she is open to her friends’ perspectives and really values well-meaning, critical questions. Having seen a fair share of her videos, Jesse concludes that Helen’s community follows her example in the comment sections. She follows the motto ‘show and don’t just tell, so to speak. She is open to criticism; she even values it. But her lifestyle is also full of integrity, and she challenges Jesse to think for himself. The videos show that Christianity has more to offer and sparks questions that are much bigger than whether he will succeed in the upcoming exams.

Jesse realises that Helen’s content has also laid bare Jesse’s yearning for a Christian community that is similar to that of her friend group which shows up regularly in the vlogs. Jesse puts his phone down and stares at the ceiling again. This sense of isolation, of being alone in this room, and in most of his daily life which is mostly spent alone in libraries, and this online community which he has just discovered, stand in direct tension. Maybe he should try again with finding a local church. Great, he thinks, another thing to add to the to-do-list. A new video appears on his screen, informing him about Helen’s most recent project: A new website which offers short podcast-like episodes that are inspired by the Liturgy of the Hours. Intrigued, Jesse adds it to his home screen and starts listening to the evening episode. Ten minutes later, he feels grounded and a sense of clarity. The episode has reminded him of the meaning of his name: God is here. He is glad that Helen’s videos have managed to stop him in his doom-scrolling and introduced him to this meditation-like prayer app that has cleared his thoughts. The sense of panic and stress has lifted and while he still feels a slight sense of dread when thinking about the following week, he knows that there are more important things in life. Jesse smiles. He is glad that Helen’s videos appeared on his ForYou page today. He has realised that even though things might get tough during the next few days, God will meet him in the chaos, just as He has met him in the never-ending ocean of short video content. God is here and alway will be.