"scrolled through the account" (S2)

scrolled through the account. when he finally looked up, he was shocked that he'd spent over an hour watching this person speak about finding god, the path he had taken and the path he hoped to take in the future. Jesse found something oddly comforting in learning about a stranger's inner religious journey, what spirituality meant to them and the way they interpreted religious teachings. glancing back at the unread text messages, Jesse wondered what the person in the videos would have done in this situation- wallow in self pity? project his hate and frustration onto the world? give up all hope that life could get better? Or would he trust that this had all happened for a reason, and have faith that it would all work out alright in the end. At this point in his life, Jesse was more alone than he had ever been before, but the words of that individual in the videos were ringing in his ears- was he truly ever alone? Jesse had never bothered believing in a god before because he had no reason to, he had everything he could have ever wanted and was constantly surrounded by people who loved him, but not anymore. He stared at his phone, and the messages that, once opened, would change his life forever. But he didn't need to open them to know what they said. With a shaky hand, he deleted the chat and blocked the number that had sent the messages. Closing his eyes in anguish, he thought that if a god really did exist, he should pray for a miracle right now.