"found his eyes glued to the screen all the more" (S53)
found his eyes glued to the screen all the more. The words seem to pierce him, but it felt good. He hadn't had much experience of religious things throughout his life, he'd been to a couple weddings and a funeral but that was the extent of it. Now that he thought of it, he couldn't recall a single conversation he'd had with someone about it. More than ever, life was seemingly closing in on him, another message popped up at the top of his screen as the video finished. He turned off his notifications and rewatched the video. Jesus. He felt like he'd definitely heard that name before, but he couldn't remember where. There it was again; Jesus. He continued watching as the person on his screen was responding to a comment on one of their other videos and went on to explain the 'good news'. There wasn't much of that anymore, Jesse thought. But as he listened he felt a pull, a jump in his chest. He'd not heard of this Jesus guy or the stuff this person was telling him but he felt drawn in, his heart started beating faster. He looked to the comments and found he wasn't alone in this feeling. There were swathes of comments complimenting the video, thanking the person for explaining this idea. Jesse sat back and put his phone down. He thought about his life, from start to finish, everything he'd accomplished, everything he'd failed at. Every good and bad day until he reached himself, sat on his sofa. He recalled what the person had said, "We are all in the same boat, we've all messed up, fallen short of our standards and God's". If ever he felt like that, it was now. But then there was Jesus guy. He tried to wrap his head around what he'd heard. Someone had died for him? Seems a bit extreme, he thought. His heart continued to pump as his palms felt sweaty.
"Alright, God, Jesus, whatever, I'm not sure what name you prefer,. but if you are real, I need your help right now."
He tried describing the feeling to his friends later that week, "It was just like this overwhelming emotion of everything is going to be ok, that it'll work out, of just- I guess- love..."
