"... and became more and more fascinated by the subject" (S80)

... and became more and more fascinated by the subject. He had never been able to talk to anyone about religious issues before, and although he wasn't part of a real conversation, but just watching a video, he was excited by the fact that he was learning new things. Of course, his biggest question was about the afterlife. What happens after death, Jesse asked. The speaker in the video said things that reassured Jesse. The speaker talked about some kind of eternal life, that the soul is not really born and does not die, that it is like God, living forever. This suddenly filled Jesse with a double feeling. He thought that if it really is eternal life, then it has all the good memories and feelings and will keep them and preserve them until the end of time. At the same time, however, it occurred to him that in this sense all that was hurting him now would also be preserved. Suddenly he thought of the taunts and insults he receives from his peers every day because he is different from them. Watching the video, Jesse couldn't decide whether or not it was right now that everything would be forever. But eventually the man in the video started talking about forgiveness and remission. What Jesse meant by this was that these concepts could be precisely what those who have hurt each other have the opportunity, until the end of time, to make amends and thus, by asking for forgiveness, ease the burden of those who have been caused grief and hardship. This was a little depressing to Jesse at first, because he thought that if everyone waited until eternity to apologise, that moment might never come. But he knew that when it came time to apologise, he wouldn't wait a minute. Forgiveness is a given, because that's what the speaker talked about in the video, that God always forgives. So, in imitation of God, Jesse thought that he would forgive as soon as his wrongdoers repented and tried to make amends.